I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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