am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
