Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
