In the future we'll all be gay
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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