Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
