he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
