i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
