So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
