best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
