Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
