living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
