oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You made out with two different species that night
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
