apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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