I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
