After last night, I could never be a politician.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
