You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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