careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
