I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
