okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
