i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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