Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize