I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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