Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
