so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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