I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
there's paper in my vomit.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
