He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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