If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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