Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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