are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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