Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
