two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
