Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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