you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
