How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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