I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
