if you like me you must not know who I am
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
