I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
