I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
