he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
