I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
