You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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