trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
