she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
