im drinking this country out of the recession.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
