I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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