I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
