Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
