Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
