There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
