Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
