My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
