The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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