I hope mine doesn't look like that
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
please come you make the beer taste better
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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