The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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