Are we in a gay sports bar?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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