Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
