summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just puked most of my soul out..
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
