why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
