nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
