I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
