question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
