Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
