Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
