is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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