do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
