I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
