I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm both gender and math confused
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
