Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
be right there i have to get my cape
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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