you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
